dream.

your face and figure filled the hazy images of my unconcious mind.
 your voice was heard from a tunnel that seemed to be miles away.
 your laughter filled the artificial air in the claustrophobic snowglobe.

a trap.

my eyes searched for your presense, flying from side to side.
my ears listened hard for the familiar song, the song that used to play on repeat.
my heart screamed out for its missing piece.

but you were gone.

You are no longer apart of the slideshow of my life, your pictures froze.
You are no longer the song I wake up to in the bright, early morning, nor the lullaby that sings me to sleep.
You are no longer

here.

Im ready.

Im ready to get out. I cant stand this anymore.  I deal with stupid, annoying, immature people all day. I deal with constantly being judged about either my looks or the choices I make.  Im constantly being asked,"and you dont think youre too young?" I cant take this stupid shit anymore, i want out.  I dont want to deal with these imbeciles anymore and im tired of people looking down on me.  Does it really make you feel better to point out my flaws? Obviously, im not as skinny as most girls and i do get the occasional pimples, but nobody is perfect. Yet, i feel like im not good enough for anyone because im not perfect.
Im a zombie walking through the halls of a prison, barely carrying myself from place to place. I sit, i write, i work, and then do it all again five more times. Everyday. It wouldnt be so bad if i didnt have to deal with the drama, complaints, and ridiculous remarks. I know that life will always be like this no matter if im in college or i have a job, but at least i know i have a future.
The problem is im stuck for eight more weeks, and i feel like im not getting anywhere at the moment.  Im ready for my life to pick up.  High school forces you to live life a certain way but now im ready for more, more opportunites. Im ready to make a life for myself.  I dont want to be pushed down anymore, at least not here. Not where i feel like there is no point in getting back up.  Out there they will push you down, but out there is where i want to get up, more than anything. Out there is where i want to be. Out there is what im waiting for.

Damage

A rotten core,
Prey eaten alive by a venomous creature.
A hardened shell of nothingness,
Disected and digested.

That's who I have become,
Because of that cold-hearted villain
I once gave all my faith to.
You- the one I at one time, trusted.

You spit at the sight of my wincing pain
And cackle at the memories of warm, salty rivers streaming
Down my innocent features.
Features now moulded into hatred and distruction.

I will mutilate your every being.





*completely random poem that popped into my head. Nothing specific triggered it but I would like constructive criticism and help editing it. Please and thank you(:

The day has finally come...

Today is mine and trevors one year anniversary. I can't believe how fast time had gone. I've realized how much the two have us have been through this past year and it amazes me to think about the fast that a whole year has hone by already. I'm the happiest girl in the world. Trevor is officially my fiance and we are officially engaged(: he proposed to me in the same place he asked me to ne his girlfriend one year ago. It was perfect and I had to hold back tears, but I couldn't have imagined it any better. It was special to us and it's something that we will never forget. I am now wearing my dream ring, it's white gold princess cut and perfectly sized for my finger. This morning I woke up as trevors girlfriend and tonight I will go to bed as trevors fiance. I'm bursting with happiness and I can't stop smiling!